"A bitterley cold Racecourse was the venue for this weeks injury-ravaged squad. An elaborate birthday celebration for left-back Wayne Hamill saw the
injured/un-avalible list grow to record numbers. Manager became player/manager
as Ivey started himself at centre-back - cue 'the chest' and Peter Beardsley
impressions in your own 6-yard box!"
Heath started in bright fashion on a difficult playing surface, and were dominating their average opposition. Chris Davies broke the deadlock with a
delicate finish to a sweeping Heath move just after 10 minutes.
It was all one-way
traffic, un-fortunate then that most of that traffic stopped at Rob Page,
Heath's very own clown prince! An over-ambitious over-head toe poke (yep, its
still going up) and a header that narrowly missed the goal... from all of 3cm
out didn't add to Heath's lead.
Thankfully, it wasn't too long before Josh
Urquhart doubled the advantage. A ski-jump and a 50-yard through ball from
Billingham led to a third goal. A crazy bobble and pass from Billingham left
Sampson with just the keeper to beat. Sampson accepted the challenge and put
Heath into a 3-0 lead. Thats how the score reamined at half-time, with the only
other noteable incidents of the half being Ivey's well-publisized Peter
Beardsley impressions, and a terrifiying moment involving newly acclaimed club
mascot, 'Cooper'. The world strongest and eccentric pet nearly broke its neck
attempting a treble jump-loop-twist combo while chasing a ball!
The second half was a non-event in footballing terms, but general entertainment values hit the roof. Heath looked to experiment during the half playing a contraversial 3-7 formation, and due to this change, keeper Olly Urquhart was
called upon to ensure a clean sheet. Urquhart making many a fine save. All the
more impressive as he had managed to pick two left-handed gloves off the top of
his fridge that morning. Olly's younger brother, Josh doubled his tally mid-way
through the half to make the final score 4-0.
Kings Heath United (4-4-2):
B.Tansley, G.Billingham, S.Ivey, R.Paige
C.Davies, J.Anger, M.Newton, J.Urquhart